


Falling

by Bil1801



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Altered Red Kryptonite, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I don't even know how to tag this, Lillian Luthor is a villain again, Minor Supercorp reveal angst, Red Kryptonite Kara Danvers, slowburn i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23218501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bil1801/pseuds/Bil1801
Summary: When Kara falls under the control of altered Red Kryptonite, she becomes a weapon, determined only to devastate and destroy. Only one person can reach her, the one person who’s always laid claim to her heart. But even after she is brought back to herself, she’s tormented by guilt and pain, and by a love so intense it hurts, because she knows she doesn’t deserve the person she craves more than any other.Lena’s long been in love with Kara, but when she realizes her best friend betrayed her, it breaks her, and she sinks into rage and heartbreak. However, when Kara falls under and Lena’s the only person who can bring her back, she has no choice but to set her feelings aside and help save her former best friend.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 159





	1. Chapter 1

Water dripped against cracked concrete with a gentle plinking sound, pooling in crevices and corners. Fluorescents cast their watery pall over the stone tunnels.

On a sterile steel table in a small room barred by a locked iron door, a silver device hummed. Danger seemed to radiate through the very walls of the room, seeping from this hostile contraption of glowing red light and twisted steel wires.

The door swung open, and a tall, narrow woman stepped in. Her blond hair was pulled tightly back, making her angular jawline and harsh, elegant features even more prominent. Her eyes were cold ice as she studied the device. Tension hummed through her taut shoulders and arms.

“It’s been done before.” she mused to herself. “But of course the lovable Kryptonian managed to recover her reputation flawlessly. This time, she won’t be so lucky.”

She advanced towards the contraption like a leopard stalking her prey. “She will be locked up like a caged beast.”  
A cold sneer twisted her pale lips. “This is the only way to protect my daughter and the rest of the world.”

Kara landed on the DEO balcony with a whoosh of her dark red cape.

“It’s very peaceful today,” she commented to her sister, who was waiting for her on the steps.

“Sure is,” Alex answered.

Kara narrowed her eyes. “You look like you don’t quite believe that.”

Alex shifted restlessly. “I sense a storm on the horizon. Something’s coming. Something big.”

“Since when are you the harbinger of doom?” Kara nudged her sister playfully. “I didn’t know seeing the future was one of your superpowers.”

Alex sighed. “I don’t mean to be all doom and gloom, but… I don’t know. Something seems off.”

A sad, distant expression clouded Kara’s eyes and she looked out at the city. Alex didn’t have X-ray vision, but she knew what Kara’s eyes were searching for. Or rather, _who._

“Maybe.” Kara murmured. Regret and pain nearly radiated off of her in waves.

Alex felt a twinge of guilt at ruining Kara’s good mood. The Kryptonian had finally started to recover her brightness and warmth after the devastating blow she had received six months ago, but Alex knew the smallest things could still bring all the pain rushing back.

“I’m probably imagining things,” Alex said, pushing away the itch nagging at her conscious, whispering for her to listen.

“I hope so.” Kara’s piercing blue eyes locked her in place, heavy and shadowed. “I should head into Catco.”

Alex struggled to find something to say, but before she could, Kara whirled around and took off.

 _Great job._ She berated herself.

Still, something was still prickling at her. And she had always been one to place her faith in her instincts...

 _Something is amiss._ She thought, swallowing. _But what? What danger will plague National City next?_

When Kara soared into the DEO a few weeks later, Alex was waiting for her on the steps, eyes smoldering with anger.

“What?” Kara asked immediately. “What happened?”

“Lillian’s escaped, again.” Alex spat the words out like they were sour on her tongue.

“Again?” Kara said in disbelief. “How?”

“Some kind of cyborg snuck in and broke her free,” Alex answered, rushing with Kara over to the mainframe. 

“Any luck tracking her, Agent Dox?” Alex asked.

Brainy typed madly, his hands a blur of motion, his eyes darting over the computer screen. “Not yet, Director Danvers, but I’m working on it. There is something rather concerning I believe you should know about, though.”

“What is it?” 

“You know we marked all the old Cadmus locations we know about and we’ve been tracking them to make sure there’s no new activity?” Brainy asked.

“Yes,” Alex replied. “I also recall going to all those locations and clearing them out to make sure there was nothing dangerous left behind.”

“Well… it seems we missed something.” Brainy tapped away at his computer, and Kara and Alex both leaned in to look at the screen as a yellow marker popped up on the grid. “There’s some kind of Kryptonite signature here, but it’s… I don’t know, changed.” he swung around with a grave expression on his face. “It's almost identical to Red Kryptonite, actually.”

Alex tensed, and Kara took a step back. _Red Kryptonite. Anything but that…_

Having no control over herself, her actions… attacking Alex… the episode had tormented her for weeks after in her nightmares. What she truly hated about Red K was that there had been truth in the heart of everything she had done. It was every desire, every selfish emotion, every grudge and resentment, and violent urge, coming to the surface.

_I said and did so many horrible things.. I never want to relive that again._

“We have to get rid of it,” she said roughly.

Brainy shot her a slightly startled look. “Yes, of course, as soon as possible. I would think that would be obvious.”

Kara jerked her head in a short nod.

“Hold on,” Alex said in a cold, controlled voice. “You said it's _almost_ identical to Red Kryptonite. What is it actually?”

“It’s been tampered with.” Brainy swiveled his chair around. His fingers raced furiously across the keys. “It is Red K… but something about it has been altered. I can’t tell what. To do so would require further study.”

“No.” Alex’s eyes blazed with cold fire. “I will not risk it. It’s too dangerous.”

Kara wondered if Alex was remembering the same thing she was in that moment - the strife, the vicious back-and-forth, the bitter, cruel, cutting words, all of them steeped in long-buried truth.

 _Does it still hurt? Does she still think about it?_ Kara studied Alex’s burning eyes and wondered if the exchange had haunted her sister for as long as it had haunted Kara.

“We must find it,” Alex growled. “And lock it up, before it can do any more harm. I will not let Supergirl fall prey to Red Kryptonite again.”

Blood-red light pulsed along the horizon as Kara hovered over National City, her cape whipping behind her, and stared at the all-too-familiar insignia streaking down the side of the glass and steel tower.

Her whole body seemed to ache with the immensity of her loss, not dulled in the slightest even after six months.

She sighed, her shoulders slumping.

 _I miss her._ Kara thought.

She missed her in a way she had never missed anyone else. She missed the way her smile could light up a whole room, missed the way her pale blue-green eyes shone like polished gemstones, the way her eager words bubbled from her dark red lips when she was speaking about her many passions.

Kara missed her so desperately it was like a constant physical ache in her heart, gaping wider and wider with each passing day. 

_I want her back._ Kara thought dismally, willing back tears. _But I know I’ve lost her forever._

As early morning light seeped into Lena Luthor’s office, she jerked her head up, about to slip into a doze with her chin resting against her hand.

She shook her head and stared at her computer screen, where an email thread ended with a cold, clinically-worded response that should hopefully send another annoying investor scurrying away, back into the woodwork.

 _If only all my problems could be solved that easily._ Lena thought, shifting restlessly in her chair. Her tight shoulders and neck ached with knotted muscles, and her legs were stiff and cramped up.

She stood up to work the numbness and stiffness out of her limbs, and a surge of adrenaline flooded through her veins as she recognized the lone figure hovering high over her office, and the red cape billowing out into the sunrise.

Anger boiled in Lena’s stomach and she curled her lips in a snarl as she turned away from the view. To her displeasure, her eyes immediately found the picture propped up against her empty scotch glass. She usually kept it tucked away during the day, but at night sometimes, when she was aching with anger and pain and downing glass after glass of scotch, trying to fill the endless void inside of her, she would set it on her desk and glare at it, and roil in hate and venom.

Some nights, when she actually made it home instead of falling asleep at her desk, she would stare at pictures of her and Kara, and drown in anguish and misery, drinking and drinking until she blacked out.

 _I shouldn’t miss her._ Lena thought bitterly, staring at the cracks lacing across the picture. _But I do. Every single day. Why can’t I just get over her?_

Red Kryptonite.

Alex had dealt with so many dangerous threats over the years but never had something hurt her like the dark red, malicious substance that had seeped into Kara’s veins and changed her into a monster, a demon shrouded in darkness.

Alex still remembered the words, slicing into her heart like so many sharpened knives. She remembered staring into Kara’s piercing blue eyes, outlined by smoky make-up, and seeing a stranger looking back at her.

“Hey, are you okay?”

A gentle voice broke into her reverie, and a strong, steadying arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Alex pressed her face into her wife’s shoulder, inhaling the sweet scent of pine and honey that always perfumed her dark hair, and whispered, “I’m scared.”

Only wrapped in Maggie’s unshakable arms could she confess her vulnerabilities and feel stronger instead of weaker. Only with Maggie could she bare her soul, her heart, her everything, and be met with only steady silence and endless warmth instead of questions and rejection.

For a while, Maggie was quiet, holding Alex close. Then she said gently, “Red Kryptonite. It alters brain chemistry, right? Changes people into monsters?”

“Not necessarily.” Alex leaned her head into Maggie’s shoulder and curled up against her. “It… it seeks out every dark impulse, every selfish longing, every hateful thought, until all that anger consumes its target, transforms them. It does alter their brain, but all the venom and darkness doesn't come from nowhere. It comes from inside, where it’s been buried deep, so deep that without the Red Kryptonite, it would most likely never be unearthed.”

“Yikes.” Maggie shivered. “So your dark side just… consumes you?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow,” Maggie said quietly. “And I suppose even the Girl of Steel has darkness in her.”

“I saw that darkness,” Alex said softly. “Turned against me. Every angry, spiteful thought she’d ever had about me…” she trailed off, pain choking in her throat. The Red K attack had happened so long ago, but at that moment, it seemed as fresh as it had been back then.

Except then, Alex had labored under that burden alone. Now, though, she had Maggie.

“I don’t think I can go through that again,” Alex whispered. “I can’t see her like that again.”

“Well, I won’t promise anything.” Maggie said slowly, “But I know that you are strong enough to handle anything. You both are. And if anything happens… just know I’ll always be here. I won’t let you deal with this alone.”

Alex sighed. Shrouded in warmth and love, she thought about Kara, alone in her apartment.

_“You don’t have to go through this alone.”_

Alex still remembered walking into Kara’s apartment with a sick feeling in her stomach and seeing her unbreakable sister curled into herself, shaking, tears shimmering in her eyes.

Alex remembered rushing across the apartment, wrapping her sister in her arms as she wept, and calming her until she could speak until she could explain it, laying her heartache bare with shaking words and gut-wrenching sobs, her heart shattered by the one person she couldn’t stand to lose.

Alex remembered promising to stay by her side that night, holding her until she slipped into the darkness.

 _I wonder how she feels right now._ Alex thought. _I wonder what she’s thinking about._

Lillian Luthor stood next to her prized contraption, her chin raised, holding a syringe. Her poise was proud, but her eyes were hollow and vacant of any sign of triumph, and she moved with almost clinical detachment.

Even someone as strong, slippery, and unshakable as Lillian had a breaking point.

And realizing that your daughter had killed your son who had been planning to kill you wasn’t an easy pill for anyone to swallow.

Lillian stared at the device for several minutes, as if contemplating something, then hooked up a wire to the syringe and flipped a set of switches.

A blood-red fluid seeped through the wire and into the syringe until dark droplets sprinkled the steel. Lillian shoved the syringe into her pocket and glared out the doorway.

“Watch your back, Girl of Steel. Because I’ll have my revenge now.”

Anger danced in her dark, empty eyes, a single spark in a silent sea.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex exhaled a sigh of relief as she locked up the case. The Red Kryptonite was locked up in DEO custody, out of reach of anyone who could use it for harm.

“Director.” an agent rushed in, looking pale and shaken. “Lillian Luthor is in National City.”

“Where?” Alex asked, shoving the case hastily aside.

“She’s at L-Corp.” the agent answered. “She brought several cyborgs with her.”

Alex cursed. Lillian certainly knew where her enemy’s heart still lay.

“We need to get a strike team there now.”

The agent nodded and rushed off. Alex reached up to activate her comms. She almost didn’t want to alert Kara, but she knew she had no choice.

“Supergirl?”

“What is it, Alex?” came Kara’s swift reply.

“Lillian Luthor is here in National City.”

“Where?”

“L-Corp.”

“Lena.” Kara voiced her former best friend’s name in a voice barely above a whisper, but Alex still heard the heartache and fear etched into every single syllable, followed by the whoosh of a cape.

 _I need to get there fast._ Alex thought. _I need to protect her. Because when it comes to Lena, Kara will do anything to save her._

Despite the chaos, Kara zeroed in on Lillian immediately, standing serenely next to the elevator.

Her blood boiled and she streaked across the room, pinning Lillian to the wall.

A cold snake’s smile slithered across Lillian’s face. “Supergirl. I was hoping you would show up.”

Kara gasped and stumbled back as familiar agony seared through her veins, and her vision danced with black spots.

Lillian smirked and held up a small, glowing green rock. “Way too easy.”

Kara collapsed to one knee, swaying, and watched Lillian reach her hand into her pocket and pull out a syringe.

“You care far too much about my daughter,” Lillian said, advancing on Kara. “It’s your greatest weakness. Your heart makes you more susceptible to failure than any Kryptonite.”

Kara waited until Lillian drew close. Despite the pain and the sluggishness weighing on her limbs, she was ready to fight. A single Kryptonite rock couldn’t disable her quite so easily.

When Lillian reached her, she surged upward with a swift uppercut to the stomach, and Lillian fell against the ground without a fight.

Kara leaned over her, curling her lips in a snarl.

Lillian stared at her with eyes like endless voids. “Your weakness, Supergirl.”

Then a blow landed against the back of her head, and she slumped forward, her vision hazing over with black spots.

Two strong arms seized her and held her captive. She struggled weakly, but her muscles felt limp and useless, and her head was hazy with pain and confusion.

Lillian rose until she towered over Kara, clutching a syringe. “Nobody will ever trust you again, Supergirl. You will be a weapon against humanity, and prove to the whole world that aliens must never be trusted.”

Before Kara could regain her wits, Lillian stabbed the syringe into her neck, and everything faded away in a whirl of crimson and black.

Alex burst onto the scene, her eyes immediately searching for Kara. 

Then she saw her.

Her eyes blazed with heat vision as she hovered over the milling crowd, and relief swept over her. 

_She’s alive._

Then Alex saw where Kara was pointing her blazing eyes, and her body went numb with horror.

The whole building started to shudder as Kara’s heat vision arced in wide swathes, carving through the walls. Dark red light glowed as it pulsed underneath Kara’s invulnerable skin.

 _The Red Kryptonite… I locked it up._ Alex thought in a panic. _How did someone get to it?_

Kara’s eyes continued to glow with heat vision, like lava bubbling in the depths of a volcano, and the walls started to come crashing down.

Alex exhaled. _I’ll save Kara later. For now, I have to focus on all the people in this building._

Then, abruptly, the glow in Kara’s eyes died, and she fell from the sky in a blaze of red light.

“Supergirl!” Alex muscled her way through the heaving crowd until she reached her sister. Dimly she was aware that the walls were still shaking, but all she could think about was _Kara._

She dropped to one knee beside her sister. Kara’s eyes were closed. Her veins pulsed with blood-red light as the Kryptonite crawled under her skin. 

Then Alex looked up and saw Lillian watching with cold, remote eyes, holding a huge silver gun.

“Save the building,” she called to her cyborgs.

Alex glared at Lillian as the cyborgs surged into motion. “What are you doing? You obviously did this to Supergirl. Why would you stop her?”

“My daughter’s up there,” Lillian answered.

 _Lena._ Alex looked back down at Kara, lying there with Red Kryptonite pulsing in her veins, then back up at Lillian. “Maybe you should have thought of that before infecting Supergirl.”

“I always have a plan, Director Danvers,” Lillian said with a smirk. “You should know that by now.”

Alex stared down at her sister as the walls cracked and shuddered around her, and scrambled for a solution.

“Director Danvers.” Brainy’s voice burst into her ear. “What’s happening?”

“Lillian’s hit Supergirl with Red K. I don’t know where she got it, but we need to retrieve the gun we used last time to leach the Kryptonite from Supergirl’s body,” Alex said in a rushed whisper, glaring at Lillian.

“Where is it?”

Alex wracked her brain to remember. The weapon had been locked away in storage, and Alex had honestly never wanted to see it again, to remember the pain and anguish. She had hoped she would never have to use it again.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But J’onn might.”

“I’ll ask.”

“Hurry, Brainy.” Alex looked down at Kara, who was starting to stir, her fingertips twitching and her jaw pulsing, inflamed with the rage of Red K even when unconscious. “We’re running out of time.”

Lena clutched the huge, hopefully, non-lethal gun at her side, pressing herself against the wall. Riding an elevator right now was risky, but she didn’t particularly trust the stairs either.

The doors slid open, and she ducked out into her huge lobby. The shaking and rocking had eased, and Lena, looking around, saw Cyborgs fusing several jagged, blackened cracks together with rough blasts of heat from their glowing eyes.

Then Lena’s eyes zeroed in on the trio in the center of the room, and her heart stumbled against her ribs as she saw Alex kneeling next to Kara, glaring at Lillian with hatred burning in her dark eyes.

_What is going on?_

“It’s too late, Danvers.” Lillian snapped. “When she wakes, she will wreak havoc on this world.”

“I will stop you.” Alex spat. “I won’t let Supergirl become a slave to Red Kryptonite again.”

Lena edged closer, unnoticed, and saw that red streaks rippled across Kara’s skin, surging in her veins, glowing menacingly. _Red Kryptonite._

Lena hadn’t yet arrived in National City when Kara had been infected the first time, but she had heard all about it on the news, how it had turned Supergirl into a villain.

“Like you could do anything.” Lillian chuckled.

Lena glanced down at Kara, struggling to ignore the emotions crushing the breath from her lungs. The Kryptonian’s muscles jerked and pulled in odd, spasmodic fashions, and her eyelids were flickering.

 _She’ll wake soon._ Lena thought. _And she needs to do that contained in the DEO, where she can be transformed safely._

Lena ground her teeth in frustration, angry that once again, she was allying herself with the Danvers sisters who had betrayed her.

 _This isn’t about me._ Lena reminded herself. _Too many lives are at stake. I have to help._

She clenched her jaw, raised her gun, pointed it at Lillian, and pulled the trigger.

  
  


Lillian stood there, staring down at Alex. There was no triumph in her eyes, and her usual serene smile was gone, replaced by an angry curl of her lips.

 _Something’s changed her._ Alex thought. _She’s no longer the enigmatic, emotionless woman she once was._

_I wonder if it has anything to do with her daughter murdering her son who was planning to murder his mother. Probably._

Lost in thought, Alex didn’t notice the new arrival, until Lillian crumpled in a blaze of white light, and Lena walked up, clutching a gun to her chest, eyeing Alex and Kara warily.

“I’ve bought you some time,” Lena said in a cold, flat voice. “Go. Get Kara to the DEO.”

Alex stared up at her. “Lena - “

“Go. People’s lives are at stake.”

Alex gathered Kara into her arms and rose shakily to her feet, swaying slightly.

Lena stared at her and said nothing. Her pale green eyes were as startling as they had always been, shrouded by dramatic make-up. 

“Thank you.” Alex managed. There was so much she wanted to say, needed to say, but not enough time.

Lena shrugged. “For the sake of National City, and the world, I hope you manage to save her in time.”

Alex looked down once more at her sister’s body. “I really hope so.”

_Blood._

_Dark red, velvety blood lapped at Kara’s skin and seeped into her veins, prickling like needles as it moved through her body, charging her with electricity, bringing her to life._

_Darkness sucked at Kara’s vision, but she blinked it away. Unlimited strength coursed through her limbs, coiling into her muscles, bursting in her chest._

_She could conquer the world, with all this power. She reveled in the intoxicating strength burning through her veins as she rose up, higher, higher. The air reeked of cinders and smoke, of a fallen empire crumbled to ash._

_A bright glow pierced her eyes, shining with golden radiation, spilling over her, waxing and waning as it surged beyond the haze of blood-swollen clouds._

_The light flooded over her, and she breathed in deep as the drug of unimaginable power flowed through her. A howl split the silence, and she realized it was hers as it bubbled up from her gut and erupted from her lips._

_Power. Strength. Clarity._

_The glow grew brighter and brighter as her shouts echoed in the silence. She squinted her eyes against the radiance as it consumed her, enveloping her in warmth, supplying her with the drug she didn’t yet know she was growing addicted to._

I am a god. _She thought._ And I will rule.

Her eyes opened.

It only took a heartbeat for her to realize someone was holding her, cradling her like a helpless child.

Who _dared_ imprison her in their arms like she was a mere mortal? She was a _god._

 _No,_ whispered a tiny voice inside. _No, you’re not. This isn’t you. This isn’t us. This isn’t me._

Weakness. There was weakness inside of her.

It had to be destroyed.

A scream erupted from her throat and she launched herself into the sky. 

_I’m free._

Her eyes burned with a raging fire, and wherever she looked, people went up like kindling and black scorch marks were carved like the marks of a scalding scythe.

 _So much power._ Her muscles flexed and rippled under her invulnerable skin as her searing eyes bathed the land in fire.

Then she heard a distant shout and looked down to see a woman in dark black staring up at her with huge eyes.

That was Kara’s captor. Those arms had held her and secured her and chained her.

This woman deserved to die, for daring to hold Kara down. She was a god. 

Then she faltered, ever so slightly. _Kara._

That was her name. _Kara._ Right? It seemed familiar somehow, and also all wrong, like a treasured garment that no longer fit quite right. The name wrapped around her and pulled, constricting, suffocating.

 _Kara._ That was not a name worthy of a god. She was not Kara. She was super. 

_Supergirl._ That sounded right. It sounded strong.

Supergirl descended slowly to land on the concrete with a dull thud. Looking down, she saw rock splinter and give way beneath her, and a grin snaked across her face. She was strong, and she was super. Nothing could stop her.

She looked up and saw the woman in black staring at her with dark, fathomless eyes that seemed to pull her in, and the nagging in her heart grew louder. _This isn’t who I am._

_No. I am strong. I am Super. I will not give in._

Supergirl raised her head.

“Kara.” the woman began.

“That’s not my name,” Supergirl said icily. “My name is Supergirl. I don’t know who you are, but anyone who holds me prisoner as you have done deserves to die.”

“You - you don’t know who I am?” the woman’s face crumpled into an expression of confusion, but only briefly, and Supergirl saw a glint of steel in her eyes as she swiftly recovered her wits.

“I know you are weak,” Supergirl said, eyeing the woman with disdain. “I can tell you are governed by emotions. That is a pathetic way to be.”

“You’ve misjudged me, Supergirl.” the woman studied her with cold, hard eyes. “I am Alex Danvers, and I am not weak.”

Then several people in black poured out from their places sheltered behind cars and buildings, led by a dark-skinned man wielding a huge gun.

Supergirl’s eyes lit up with scalding light and she pointed her beam at the gun, but the man dodged out of the way in a blur and flung the gun into the air.

Alex lunged to catch it before Supergirl could destroy it, swung it around, and pointed it at Supergirl’s heart.

A red beam of energy crashed into Supergirl’s chest, and her muscles locked up, seized by spasms of agony.

Her vision swam with a red haze, and anger boiled in her blood. _They think they can stop me, but I am invincible. I am a god._

The pain soon dissolved, and her muscles loosened. The red light faded away, and Supergirl hovered into the air, staring down at a disbelieving Alex. 

“An admirable attempt. But your weapons are worthless against me.” Supergirl growled. “Watch your backs, because National City will be mine before long.”

The wind whistled in her hair as she soared away into the clear, brilliant night.


	3. Chapter 3

“It wasn’t Kara. And that isn’t Red Kryptonite.”

Brainy was staring at Alex, but he clearly wasn’t really seeing her. His eyes were distant with thought. “It’s been changed, altered. I don’t know how, and I don’t know what else it’s done to her, but we need another plan, if our gun isn’t going to work. It was our only chance to subdue her.”

“Maybe there is no way to subdue her when she’s under the influence of this new and advanced Red K.” Alex said miserably, her heart heavy.

“There has to be.” Brainy leaned back in his chair. “We need a sample of that Kryptonite.”

“We have the Red Kryptonite we stole from that vault.” Alex reminded him.

Brainy stood up. “Yes. I will go investigate it.”

He rushed away without waiting for anyone to respond, and Alex collapsed into J’onn, unable to support herself as the weight of everything she had just seen crashed into her.

“We’ll get her back.” J’onn promised. “She’s not lost to us yet, Alex. Kara’s still in there, underneath that cold shell.”

“I thought the Red K was bad before.” Alex said shakily. “But now.. Kara mine as well be dead. There’s just Supergirl now… but she’s not really Supergirl. It’s my sister’s body, but not her memories, her personality. She’s gone.”

“Not permanently.” J’onn reminded her. “At least, not yet. We can’t give up yet. I’m sure Brainy will find something.”

“I hope so.”

“I’ve done extensive research.” Brainy said, staring straight at Alex. “This Kryptonite has been designed to erase Kara’s memories and personality and transform her into a weapon with one goal, to destroy, and to rule. The Red K is like a drug to her in this state. It’s also been obviously designed to be impervious to the tech used previously.”

“Have you found any way to leech it from her system?” Alex asked desperately.

“The only way is to break through to her, and remind her of who she truly is.” Brainy replied. 

“How will that get rid of the Red K?”

Brainy hesitated. “It won’t. But by my calculations, the Kryptonite’s new and altered form isn’t set in stone. If Kara remembers who she really is, and recalls her memories, then the Kryptonite will be forced to adapt, and morph back into its original form. In that state, our gun will work just fine.”

“I hope you’re right.” Alex said grimly. “Otherwise.. We’re all doomed.”

Supergirl hovered over the crowd, watching as they panicked and ran in each and every direction.

 _Pathetic._ She thought, striking a car and causing it to explode into flame. A new eruption of screams pierced her ears, and she laughed.

“Kara!”

Supergirl looked down and saw Alex Danvers standing in the road alone, unarmed, watching her.

Supergirl descended and landed before her. “Bold move, showing your face again so soon.”

“Kara, you have to listen to me.” Alex said desperately. “You have to come back to me.”

“That’s not my name.” Supergirl snarled. “And I don’t know you.”

“I’m your sister.” Alex said quietly. 

“You’re not.” Supergirl snapped immediately.

“I am. And you’re not like this. You’re Kara Danvers. You’re a hero.”

“I am Supergirl, not Kara Danvers. And this is me. I am strong, and I will rule.”

Alex stared at her, her eyes blazing with desperation. “You’re Kara.” her voice cracked. “You have to listen to me.”

“Why should I?” Supergirl returned.

“If you don’t remember me, if you won’t do it for me, then do it for Lena.” Alex’s jaw clenched, and her eyes flashed.

_Lena._

_Lena._

The word echoed in Kara’s ears, and her heart stumbled against her ribcage.

“Lena.” Kara rasped.

“Yes.” Alex gazed at her with imploring eyes.

The quiet nagging whisper inside her started growing louder, until it almost consumed her, and a pounding pain started building behind her eyes as physical pain gripped her insides.

 _I’m Kara Danvers. Alex is my sister._ Her heart howled.

 _No._ Supergirl raised her head higher as a steely calm gripped her, and the screaming faded to whispers once again. _I’m Supergirl. I will not falter. I will not fall._

“I’m Supergirl. Not Kara. And you are not my sister.”

Alex wanted to sink into despair, but she couldn’t.

 _There’s only one person who can reach her._ Alex thought desperately. _The one person who’s always laid claim to Kara’s heart, whether she knows it or not._

Alex had seen her sister, her Kara, when she mentioned Lena’s name. It had been brief, but Alex had caught a glimpse of Kara, trapped and drowning inside this cold husk.

“You know what?” Alex asked. “You’re right. You’re not Kara. Not my Kara.”

“I’m glad you’ve reached that realization.” without warning, Supergirl lunged and struck Alex in the head with a powerful blow.

Alex crumpled as agony pounded in her head, and her ears rang. Her body hit the sun-baked asphalt hard, and she lay there, stunned by shock and pain.

Then she heard the whoosh of a cape, and saw Kara - no, Supergirl - vanish into the sky.

Alex crawled to her knees, barely managing to stay conscious. She no longer had Lena’s contact information, but she had seen it rather often lately, when she would pass Kara and see her sister gazing longingly at Lena’s number.

Somehow, Alex managed to type in Lena’s number and raised the phone to her ear.

“Let me guess.” came Lena’s swift reply. “You want my help containing Supergirl.”

“You’re the only one who can reach her.” Alex said desperately. “We’re running out of time.”

Lena hesitated for several eternities, then answered, “Alright. I’ll help.”

The sun was rising over the burning city.

Supergirl hovered and watched. It gave her a rush, seeing so much devastation and knowing she had caused it.

_So much power…So much destruction._

Still, it wasn’t enough. The sunlight soaked Supergirl in warmth and sent strength coursing through her limbs, but it was never enough. The dangerously addictive drug roiled in her veins, and she soared over National City, seeking out her next target.

 _Alex Danvers._ Supergirl mused as she paused mid-air. _Perhaps I should pay her a visit._

When Supergirl touched down, Alex was watching her, looking impatient.

“Took you long enough.”

“Watch it.” Supergirl snapped, glaring. “You’re lucky you’re still alive.”

“Why am I still alive?” Alex asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve been slaughtering citizens mercilessly.Why have you spared me? Do you care about me?”  
Supergirl ignited her eyes. “No. I’ll kill you right here and now. I care about nobody. Love is a weakness.”

“You might kill me, in this state.” Alex said. Her eyes glistened with tears. “Because you’re not Kara, right now. But you can be. There’s one person who can bring you back.”

“You’re speaking nonsense.” Supergirl said with a roll of her eyes. _Pathetic human._

Then her neck prickled as she sensed a presence behind her, lurking, and she spun around.

Her gaze crashed into sad ocean-deep eyes, and she caught her breath.

“Hey, Kara. Do you recognize me?” the woman was instantly, immediately so familiar it hurt. Her voice was enchanting, weaving around Supergirl’s heart.

“No.” Supergirl managed, struggling to sound cold and deliberate.

“I’m Lena Luthor.”

 _This isn’t you. This isn’t us. This isn’t me._ The words rose into a fever-pitch, screaming in Supergirl’s head.

_Lena Luthor. Lena Luthor._

Fragmented images - memories, perhaps - flashed in Supergirl’s mind’s eye, and she saw this woman, with her brilliant eyes and blinding smile, and heard words that were her own and not her own.

She looked up, and realized that she had fallen to her knees, disoriented by the rush of images.

“Please, Kara.” Lena’s voice was soft and pleading, and Kara could barely breathe. “This isn’t you.”

“It is.” Supergirl’s voice cracked as she forced the words out. _It is. It isn’t._

“I see you, Kara.” Lena’s eyes were insistent, reaching into Kara’s heart, her soul, and unearthing every buried truth and locked up secret.

_I am strong. I am Super. I will fight. I will destroy._

Kara’s eyes seared with heat vision, but she couldn’t bring herself to release it.

_I am Kara. I am a hero._

She threw back her head and let out a howl of agony as her head split and her vision blurred and pain racked every nerve in her body.

Her limbs shook and she gasped for breath as she raised her eyes to meet Lena’s.

“Please…” she started. Agony clutched her body, and she doubled over. “Please… I can’t…” 

Her breathing came short and rapid, and she let out another wordless howl of pain.

“You have to fight this, Kara.” Kara raised her head and saw Lena gazing into her eyes.

_Fight. You’re Super. Burn everything to the ground._

The ashes of a fallen empire overloaded her senses, dragging her back into a world of blood and smoke, and she gasped, breathless with longing, as the rush of power flooded through her veins.

“I’m Supergirl.” she managed through the agony racking her body. Black spots danced in her eyes and her head swam, and all she could see was stunning pale blue-green, like a churning sea, as turbulent as her heart. “I have to… rule…”

“No, you don’t.” Lena said gently. “You’re Kara Zor-El Danvers, last daughter of Krypton. You’re a hero.”

“No.” Supergirl growled. Every breath was a hard-won battle. Her limbs were locking up, and her throat was closing up, and her lungs hungered for air. The sunlight blistered on her skin, infusing her with strength, burning, searing strength, and she welcomed it, desperate for the rush she had come to crave.

“Please, Kara.” Lena begged. “Come back.”

Supergirl’s eyes burned with heat vision as intoxicating strength roiled in her veins, but at the same time, the war inside of her raged.

 _No!_ Her heart howled. _No, I won’t hurt her!_

“I can’t... “ Kara gasped. “Just kill me. Please…”

“You can make it!” Lena’s eyes glowed as she leaned in close. “I know you, Kara. This isn’t you.”

Kara couldn’t breath, couldn’t speak. Being so close to Lena made everything else fade away. She wished she could sink into Lena’s eyes, and the warmth and love she saw there, and cocoon herself in it, until she couldn’t hear anything, and didn’t have to suffer this ripping, pulling agony.

“You’re a hero.” Lena’s words were gentle and soft, and Kara wanted so badly to believe her.

Then a particularly wrenching stab of agony ripped through her body, and she howled in pain. The sun’s burning heat crackled against her skin.

“Power.” she gasped out. “Need… strength…”

Her eyes seared with heat vision’s lethal flame as she stared at Lena.

_Destroy. Kill._

_No, not her, I can’t hurt her!_

_Devastate. Rule._

_No, not Lena, I won’t hurt her!_

The agony grew so intense she couldn’t breath and she released her heat vision in a blur, screaming, her limbs shaking and locking up, her lungs hungering for air.

Then the heat in her eyes faded, and she saw Lena, collapsed on the ground, curled into herself, clutching her arm, and she realized what she’d done.

“Lena!” she rushed over in a blur. “Lena… no, please… Lena…”

Lena whimpered in pain, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears, as she pulled her bleeding, burned, wrecked arm closer into her body.

“Lena…” Kara breathed. “I hurt you…”

“Not - your - fault.” Lena panted out. 

Kara let out a sob as the poison swirled in her veins, and the agony seized her body, and her eyes lit up once again with heat vision she couldn’t control.

“I can’t…” she gasped. “It’s not me… I can’t… control…”

Lena’s eyes were huge with panic and desperation as she surged up and pressed her lips to Kara’s.

Kara’s lips tasted like ash and smoke, rough and chapped, scraping against her own. Lena’s arm hurt so badly she could barely think straight, and the hot air crackled against her skin.

But she was kissing Kara, and despite everything that had gone wrong between them and all the things that had never gone right, nothing else mattered.

Even the agony in her arm seemed to fade away as Lena sank into bliss. Everything was muted and quiet and still, and Lena forgot everything else, forgot anything else even existed, and just let herself drown.

When Kara’s lips locked with Lena’s, everything came rushing back, slowly, gently, easing back into all the gaps.

And as everything slid into place, Kara became aware of the powerful throbbing in her heart. She loved Lena Luthor more than she would ever have thought possible, always had even as they navigated lands of secrets and betrayal and darkness.

Kara leaned in, pushing her lips into Lena’s until she couldn’t breath, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel anything except Lena, her beloved Lena.

Some part of her knew this wasn’t right, that Lena was injured and that Kara didn’t deserve this anyways, not when poison was coursing in her veins and she had killed too many people to count, but Kara couldn’t bring herself to pull away, because Lena’s lips were her sanctuary from all her pain, and already more addicting than any Red K rush.

But eventually Kara pulled away, and as soon as she did, Lena’s eyes rolled back and she crumpled silently.

“Lena!” Kara cried. She gathered the youngest Luthor into her arms and cradled her gently. “No, you can’t leave me now. I need you...”

A hand rested on her shoulder, and she looked back to see Alex standing next to her, her eyes dark with worry. “Take her to the DEO. They’ll tend to her.”

Kara wanted to apologize, wanted to fling herself into Alex’s arms and weep, but she had to be strong. She deserved this guilt and this pain, and besides, Lena needed her.

She nodded and leaped into the air - and then crashed heavily back down to the ground, barely staying on her feet.

Black spots danced in her eyes, and without warning her legs gave out and she tumbled into oblivion.

Everything ached.

Kara opened her eyes, and saw Alex standing next to her.

Memories hit Kara like a Kryptonite beam, and she started crying, deep gut-wrenching sobs. Everything hurt so badly she couldn’t breath.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Alex gathered her close and held her, but Kara pulled away violently.

“Stop.” she said shakily. “Please. I don’t deserve this. I need to be locked up.”

“Kara.” Alex said gently, taking her hands. “It wasn’t you.”

“But - “ then another thought rose into Kara’s mind and suddenly everything else seemed much less important. “Is Lena alright?"

“She’ll live.” Alex replied. “Her arm will be… permanently scarred, but she’ll survive.”

These words brought on another round of sobbing, and Kara buried her face in her arms, shutting everything else out.

For several minutes she just wept while Alex kept a steady hand on her shoulder, endlessly loyal even though Kara didn’t deserve it.

Slowly, Kara raised her head, and blinked tears from her eyes. “I have to get out of here.”

“No, you don’t.” Alex said insistently.

“Yes, I do.”

“You need more time under the sun lamps, and more rest, so calm down.” Alex replied.

“But…” Kara hesitated. What she wanted to say was that she knew who she would inevitably run into if she stayed. Lena, who, despite how badly Kara had hurt her, still cared about her, was still willing to fight for her. 

Kara could hardly bear the thought, when she was so far from deserving Lena in any way.

But she was too exhausted to argue, so she slumped back and closed her eyes.

Lena sat on a nearby bed in the medic’s and watched Kara.

The Kryptonian looked so peaceful and serene, her eyes closed, her expression calm and relaxed. Her golden curls glowed in the light of the sun lamps. 

How was this the same Kryptonian who yesterday had stood across from Lena, a complete stranger, and glared at her with heat vision seething in her eyes? It didn’t seem possible.

 _That wasn’t really her, though._ Lena reminded herself. _That was the Red Kryptonite, changing her._

Lena watched Kara, her shoulders slumped. Her arm ached, but it couldn’t compare to the pain in her heart.

_Why did I kiss her?_

_Because I still love her. I always have, even when I pushed it down, even when she broke my heart, even when I thought there was no hope left for us._

_I’m still in love with her, even after all the darkness and pain. I just wish it hadn’t taken Red Kryptonite to make me realize it._

Somehow, in the aftermath of so much pain and destruction, her own heartache at Kara’s betrayal seemed minimal. It had seemed like a crushing blow not too long ago, unforgivable, but now, in the wake of so much tragedy, Lena realized that perhaps all along, Kara really had just been trying to protect her.

_What will happen to us now?_

Kara’s eyes cracked open, and she pressed them shut again, craving the darkness of oblivion. Her heart had never felt so hollow, so broken, and she wondered how it was still beating. It seemed impossible that she could be in this much pain and still be alive and breathing.

Her eyes opened and she looked around, expecting to see Alex standing next to her. Instead, her eyes zeroed in on the one person she didn’t want to see, and she recoiled.

Lena’s eyes were closed, her breathing shallow and uneven as she slept restlessly, huddled into herself. Her arm was bound in a sling and clasped across her chest.

Kara gazed at her and wondered how it was possible to love someone like this, with every beat of her heart, with every draw of air into her lungs.

_When did I fall so in love with her?_

Kara reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind Lena’s ear. Her heart ached with longing to hold Lena close, to kiss her, to mend all her cracks and heal all her scars.

 _But I don’t deserve her._ Kara stared at Lena, her heart ablaze with pain. _I can’t let myself love her. I’ve already broken her heart once. I won’t cause her any more pain. I can’t._

_To save her, I have to leave her._


	4. Chapter 4

A month.

A month later, and Kara still felt so unbelievably broken. When she was able to sleep at all, her dreams were tormented by images of what she had done while under the influence of the Red Kryptonite intoxicating hold on her, all the people she had killed, all the fires she had lit.

She did her best to help with repairs, but everyone was terrified of her. Even though it had been stressed over and over again that it had been Red Kryptonite, poisoning her, she knew people couldn’t help but look at her and see the monster that had ravaged their city and their world and ripped families apart.

Alex stayed with Kara some nights when everything was too much, holding her until she slipped into darkness, then comforting her when she woke sobbing and drenched in tears. But Alex couldn’t always be there, and whenever she wasn’t, Kara couldn’t breathe, couldn’t sleep.

And even when Alex was at her side, even when she was surrounded by people, Kara felt unimaginably lonely, because her heart was constantly pining for the one person she couldn’t have.

The memory of their kiss was hazy at the edges, but the sensation was painfully clear in her mind, and Kara found herself craving it, craving the sanctuary of Lena’s arms, desperate for her laugh and her smile, ripping herself apart because she missed her so much it sucked all the breath from her lungs whenever she thought about it.

Still, it was better like this. Lena deserved the chance to move on and live her life without Kara’s demons haunting her.

But that didn’t make it any easier.

Lena knocked back another glass of scotch and stared at her computer screen. Her eyes were bleary, and her head was pounding, and her heart was crying out in pain.

She closed her eyes and saw Kara gazing back at her, her blue eyes bright, her smile as radiant as the sun.

A sob built in her chest, and she rose on unsteady legs and went over to her counter to pour another glass, desperate for the oblivion of alcohol.

All she had been able to think about since the attack was Kara’s blue eyes shimmering with tears, her howls of agony slicing through the air like a scythe, her face contorted in desperation as her eyes blazed once again with heat vision she couldn’t hold back. Lena’s lips tingled with the sensation of Kara’s lips against hers, which she still remembered with an agonizing clarity even a month later.

When Lena had woken up in the DEO, it had been to Alex staring at her, perched atop the bed Kara had been laying in.

 _She needs to recover._ Alex had said. _She isn’t ready to handle her emotions involving…_ she had waved her hand helplessly in Lena’s direction, as if unsure how to phrase all the complications between her and Kara. _When she’s coped with everything else, she might be able to work out her feelings about you._

“I understand.” Lena had responded then, her heart shattering all over again with the crushing pain of rejection. “I can’t imagine how she’s feeling right now.”

It had been a month since then, and Lena hadn’t seen Kara since then, hadn’t even caught a glimpse of her face.

Lena stared down into her empty glass. Being without Kara now that she knew what it was like to love all of Kara with all of herself, with no boundaries between them, was unbearable. Lena felt like a drug addict, craving her next hit but knowing it was just out of reach.

_But Kara doesn’t want me. And she never will._

The warmth of Maggie’s arms was Alex’s only protection against the darkness and the nightmares that crept in on her from all sides when she lay in bed, exhausted but unable to sleep. Maggie would hold her and stroke her hair and kiss her until she forgot what it felt like to hurt until darkness claimed her. And when she woke shaking and scared, Maggie was always there to hold her until she could breathe again.

Alex couldn’t believe how lucky she was, to have Maggie. And it made her realize even more keenly how much pain Kara must be in, laboring alone with her broken heart.

“I want to help her,” Alex said one night to Maggie, gazing into her wife’s dark, gentle eyes. “She’s in so much pain I don’t understand how she’s still breathing.”

“She’s always been as strong as steel,” Maggie replied.

“Stronger.” Alex stared up at the ceiling. “But she’s so broken, and she won’t stop blaming herself for everything she did even though it wasn’t her fault. Including hurting Lena.”

Maggie’s eyes darkened. “And she still won’t… talk to Lena? They have a lot to resolve. Like, you know, being in love with each other and having their first kiss when Kara was poisoned by Red Kryptonite and also maybe the secret identity reveal that they never really discussed in the first place.”

“Kara doesn’t think she deserves to love Lena,” Alex said dismally, echoing Kara’s own words to her. “She thinks that the only way to keep Lena safe is to stay away from her. She’s breaking her own heart in an attempt to save Lena’s, but I don’t think she realizes she’s hurting Lena even worse. I’m pretty sure Lena took it as a rejection, even though I did my best to explain to her that Kara just wanted time.”

Maggie shook her head. “How can two people obviously destined for each other take so long to just get together?”

“I don’t know,” Alex answered. “But I hope that they can figure it out because Kara deserves to finally be happy.”

Over the course of several months, everything slowly started to become bearable. The people of National City still acted scared around her, but many were starting to become more trusting as she slaved away day and night, repairing the damage she had caused.

Everything still seemed impossible, sometimes, when Kara was lonely and desperate and aching, longing to call Lena, to hear her voice, to go to her office and fall into her arms. But she couldn’t, because she was still too wrecked, and Lena deserved more than her tarnished, heartbroken love.

But Kara was recovering. Every day, her heart hurt less, and every day it was easier to get up and don her cape. Every day, everything grew less painful.

It took several months, but eventually, Kara realized that what she had done hadn’t been her fault. There was no point feeling guilty over something she couldn’t change. She could only devote her future to healing the scars she had left behind.

And one day, she pulled out her phone and stared at Lena’s name, and realized she was ready.

Lena was working into the early morning hours, as usual, with a glass of scotch in her hand, when she heard an all-too-familiar sound - the whoosh of a cape.

She swung her chair around, almost dropping her glass as she saw Kara walk in.

Lena stared at her in disbelief. Her head was up, her icy blue eyes sharp and determined, her shoulders back. Unshakable, unbreakable. How had she recovered so well, when Lena still felt so broken?

“Hey, Lena.” Kara’s voice was quiet and shaky, and Lena realized that despite her show of confidence, she was scared.

“Kara,” Lena said in a stunned voice. She felt completely unprepared for this conversation, and her stomach churned as she thought about everything they had to address. “What are you doing here?”

Kara hesitated, then sighed. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long. I didn’t - I wasn’t ready to deal with… everything.”

“I understand,” Lena said, though the words sounded hollow even to her.

Kara shook her head. “Have you - have you really forgiven me for betraying you? You were so angry at - at me…”

“You just wanted to protect me,” Lena answered. “And besides, it was your secret to share.”

“And…” Kara stared at her, her mouth slightly open, her forehead crinkling as if she were grasping for something to say. “Why did you kiss me?” she blurted.

Lena leaned back in her chair, feeling sick to her stomach. She had known the question would come up, but she wasn’t ready to answer it.

“I didn’t know how else to reach you,” she replied.

“Well, it worked.” Kara’s eyes darkened with sadness, churning like a storm-whipped sea. “Thank you.”

“I couldn’t just watch the Red Kryptonite change you into something you’re not,” Lena replied.

Kara’s shoulders slumped, and she asked in a shaky voice, “How’s your arm?”

Lena looked down. Strange pale red burn scars rippled up her forearm from her wrist, a constant reminder of Kara’s eyes searing her arm until it burned. The memories it induced were much more painful than any of the physical pain the injury had caused her.

“Fine.”

Kara walked over and gazed down at the scars with unbearable misery in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Lena,” she whispered in a broken voice.

“It wasn’t you. It was the red Kryptonite.” Lena reminded her, standing up and taking her hand before really thinking about what she was doing.

Kara glanced down at their intertwined hands, then up at Lena. Her cerulean eyes had never looked more stunning.

Lena could hardly breathe. Being so close to Kara, their hands interlocked, made everything come rushing back, consuming her. Their eyes locked, and everything faded away into background noise as their lips crashed together.

  
  


Kara could hear Lena’s heartbeat, racing in sync with her own, and she let it pound in her ears, steadying her as a silent ocean surged around her, threatening to drag her under.

Everything slowed as Kara let herself drown, clutching onto Lena like an anchor, pulling her in, closer and closer in. Sinking under should have been scary, but instead, Kara found herself accepting it, welcoming it, because she knew she could stay here forever, never drawing a breath again, as long as she had Lena with her.

Several eternities later, Lena pulled away. Her ocean-deep eyes were clouded with confusion. “Kara…”

“I love you,” Kara whispered. Her chest was bursting with emotion she couldn’t contain any longer, and she needed Lena to know that her heart belonged to her. “I always have.”

“I love you too,” Lena whispered in a choked voice. Her eyes had never looked brighter.

Kara couldn’t even begin to process her words, so instead, she just leaned in and kissed her.

Wrapped in Lena’s steady embrace, captured by Lena’s lips against hers, Kara leaned into the intoxicating sensation and sank into bliss as everything else faded away into the mist.

Alex leaned into Maggie’s embrace, mentally bracing herself for a long evening. Sister nights had once been an easy, casual tradition, but now they were immensely trying. It was no fault of Kara’s, but supporting someone who was so broken wasn’t easy. Kara had been improving lately, but she still wasn’t quite the sister Alex knew, and it was painful to watch.

“I feel guilty.” Alex murmured into Maggie’s collarbone. “I shouldn’t see it as a chore, but I do. It’s just… so hard. Every time I see her, I just remember…” her voice caught.

“You don’t need to feel bad.” Maggie insisted. “Picking up someone else’s broken pieces isn’t easy. Watching someone you love suffer is awful. And when every time you see her you’re reminded of a traumatic experience? It’s no wonder it’s hard for you. Not everyone would be up to it. But you are because you’re strong as steel and unshakably loyal and devoted.”

“When did you become so mushy?” Alex asked teasingly, poking her playfully in the ribs.

Maggie rolled her eyes. “I am not being mushy.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Well…” Maggie smiled slightly. “I have good news.”

“You must be really excited to tell me since you actually didn’t fight very hard to win that argument,” Alex said with a grin. “What is it?”

“We’re going to have a baby soon.” Maggie burst out in a rush. Her eyes were shining.

Alex stared at her. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” Maggie grinned.

Alex collapsed into her, unable to support herself. “I suppose I have some good news to take to Kara, then,” she mumbled, lost in a daze, still not really processing it.

“Yes, I guess you do.” Maggie leaned in and kissed Alex, then pulled away. “Now go be with your sister, and when you come back I’ll give you the details.”

“You can’t drop a bomb on me like that and then just send me off.” Alex protested.

“I totally can.” Maggie deadpanned.

Alex rolled her eyes. “Okay, dear.”

The whole drive to Kara’s, she was lost in a daze. _I’m going to have a child. With Maggie._

She had wanted one for longer than she could remember, and now… her dream was going to become a reality.

“Alex!” Kara greeted her at the door, grinning. “You’re late, you know.”

“Fashionably late.” Alex corrected as she unzipped her coat and hung it up.

“Sure, if you say so.”

Alex shot her a look.

“Anyhow, I already ordered Chinese.” Kara’s eyes were distant as she spoke like her thoughts were elsewhere. “If that’s alright with you.”

“Always,” Alex replied. “Do you have a beer?”

Kara rolled her eyes. “When do I not? You always want one whenever you come over. How stressful _is_ your job?”

“You would know.” Alex retorted, following her over to the kitchen.

Kara opened the freezer and handed her a beer, which she cracked open immediately.

“So, how’s Maggie?” Kara asked as Alex knocked back a swig of beer.

“Great,” Alex answered with a grin, her heart warming as she remembered Maggie’s shining eyes and sparkling smile.

_We’re going to have a baby._

  
  


_Three Years Later…_

Velvety darkness cloaked National City as Kara soared into her house, her cape whooshing around her.

“You’re back.”

Kara pulled Lena into her arms as her fiance rushed up to her. “I would never leave you,” Kara said gently, cradling Lena in her arms.

Lena sighed and leaned her head against Kara’s chest. Kara could hear her lover’s rapid heartbeat slowing down, syncing with her own.

“How many lives did you save this time?” Lena asked, gazing at her with an awestruck look, and love blossomed in Kara’s heart because she knew that Lena wasn’t just seeing Supergirl, but all of her, all her insecurities and all her darkness, and loved her anyway.

_When I was at my worst, she saved me, and despite everything, she still loves me._

“I stopped some robbers, and I saved someone who was being held hostage at gunpoint,” Kara answered.

Lena reached out and brushed Kara’s hair behind her ear, her silken touch sending shivers down Kara’s spine. “I wish I could be a hero like you.”

“You are a hero.” Kara insisted.

Lena smiled ruefully. “I wish.”

“You are.” Kara leaned in and kissed her, and closed her eyes as the drug of Lena’s lips seeped into her veins, numbing her and plunging her into a quiet, blissful sea of churning waves that dragged her down deeper and deeper.

Lena pulled her closer and closer until Kara’s senses were completely consumed with Lena, and she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight, her mind muddled and her heart pounding as her hands curled into Lena’s hair and Lena’s arms hooked around her neck.

Kara pushed into Lena’s velvet lips and let everything else wash away in a flood of passion and love.

Maggie’s dark eyes glowed in the dark as she gazed down at Autumn, who was slumped against her side with her eyes closed, cuddling a ragged blanket against her chest.

Alex reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind Autumn’s ear, and looked up to meet Maggie’s radiant, dimpled smile. Her heart stumbled as it always did when she looked at Maggie, whose sparkling beauty still knocked the breath right from her lungs.

“I can’t believe she’s already three years old,” Maggie said, her voice gentle and quiet and lulling as a lullaby, sinking into Alex’s ears and sweeping over her, draining all the remaining tension from her limbs.

“You’re going to be saying the same thing when she’s fourteen,” Alex said with a chuckle, though looking at the tiny girl curled up on the couch she could hardly imagine her being anything but this.

Maggie was quiet for a moment, looking thoughtful as she stroked Autumn’s hair. “Do you think Kara and Lena will ever have kids?”

Alex shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know how Kara would manage being Supergirl and a mother at the same time though. Clark moved to Argo to be a father because he didn’t think he could be Superman and still be fair to his wife and kids.”

“True.” Maggie agreed. “But I can’t see Kara abandoning her duties as Supergirl. And honestly, I doubt Lena would be willing to uproot her life either.”

“For Kara, she would.”

Maggie chuckled. “Well, that’s a given. Those two would do anything for each other. They act like they’re drunk on a love drug 24/7.”

“As long as Kara’s happy,” Alex said with a smile. 

Maggie shook her head. “She just got engaged to her soulmate last month. I don’t think I’ve seen her stop smiling once since she announced it.”

“Soulmate, huh?” Alex shot Maggie a look. “That’s high praise, coming from you. You’re about as cynical as it’s possible to be, and you’ve never seemed to believe in things like fate and star-crossed lovers.”

“I don’t usually. But Kara and Lena…” Maggie shrugged. “They’re something else entirely.”

“Do you think we’re soulmates?” Alex asked coyly, leaning into Maggie’s side.

Maggie laughed. “You’re making me really want to kiss you right now, you know that right?”

“Well, that’s kind of the point.”

Alex barely finished her sentence before Maggie leaned in to kiss her, enveloping Alex in her steady, radiant warmth. Alex closed her eyes, sinking into Maggie’s embrace.

“I love you.” Maggie murmured when they finally broke apart. Her lips moved down to press against Alex’s jawline, and Alex shivered.

“I love you too,” Alex whispered against Maggie’s ear, reveling in the way Maggie inhaled sharply against her neck.

Then Maggie pulled away, her eyes sparkling. “If we’re going to continue this, we should probably put Autumn to sleep.”

Alex looked down at Autumn, and her heart melted as she saw her daughter sigh in her sleep, looking so small and so unimaginably perfect. “Yeah, I suppose we should.”

She cradled her daughter in her arms and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Good night, Autumn. I love you.”

Kara pulled away, breathless. Lena’s touch was electric against her skin, and the addictive sensation of her lips had Kara almost begging.

As soon as she caught her breath, Lena was kissing her again, her lips insistent, and Kara pushed back with equal intensity, caught up in the haze of passion clouding her mind and the boil of desire in her blood.

Lena’s lips pressed burning marks against Kara’s neck as her hands ghosted across her skin, and Kara closed her eyes and sank into bliss.

When it was over, Kara cuddled into Lena’s arms as her breathing steadied and breathed a sacred vow of love into her lover’s hair.

“I love you,” Lena mumbled in response.

Kara sighed in contentment and pressed a last, lazy kiss to Lena’s unresisting lips.

“I keep thinking I love you as much as it's possible to love someone.” Kara murmured. “And then I keep falling deeper and deeper for you.”

“I could say the same,” Lena answered, cupping Kara's face in her hands as she leaned in to kiss her again. “I’ve spent my whole life searching for you, Kara. You’re my heart, and my home, and my light.”

Kara’s heart soared at Lena’s words, and she pushed her lips against Lena’s for all she was worth, falling, falling deeper and deeper in love.


End file.
